Hug Your Sister

No hugs

Dear Son,

My younger siblings hated me during high school! I was never home because I was had dance class or cheerleading or some sort of activity but I’d walk in the door at 10:30 pm and hear “Sarah did it!” My parents knew I hadn’t done it since I hadn’t been home in 15 hours but yet they’d keep trying. Now that we’re adults we get along great and they are my best friends but why can’t kids get along as teenagers?!?

I was telling you how much I love you and that I’ll miss you and simply mentioned it would be nice for you to give your sister a little extra affection while I’m gone. I say a little extra because right now the measurement would be at zero so anything would be noted improvement. I have no idea what you say to your friends about your sister but when no one is around I see how nice and caring you are towards her so I didn’t think it would be totally out of line to ask you to give her a hug but apparently I’d crossed the line. That’s literally what you said! I won’t say you got snippy about it but it was clear it wasn’t happening.

Since we have an ultra-nontraditional family; Dad’s black and Mom’s white (getting more mainstream but still not the norm), Mom travels for work – Dad doesn’t and Dad is the main caregiver; you have to be willing to bend on a few of the unwritten teenage laws.

I solemnly swear:

  • To hate my siblings and never admit to my friends that we get along
  • To argue with my parents for no reason because my hormones are out of control
  • To lock myself in my room and pretend not to be a part of the family
  • To force my parents to drop me off two blocks away from school so no one sees them and I can pretend they don’t exist

And so on.

For the most part, you are not a normal teenager yet (however I reserve the right to change that sentence at any given moment) but the first one seems to be a hard and fast rule.

I don’t know if anyone will ever be able to answer the question but; What is it about siblings?

For now and always, I love you.


Dear Son,


I wanted to start this blog first of all to embarrass you when you get older but mostly to document your journey as a basketball player. I asked you to do it yourself but you thought it was stupid so here I go:

Dear Son,

You’re only 14 and luckily you’re still a really great kid. Before you were born, your father and I heard from several people who had teenagers at the time that the best way to keep a kid out of trouble is to have them involved in sports. So we decided long ago that if we really wanted to keep you out of trouble we would have to find a sport that you liked to play. We were hoping your love would be swimming because you’re an amazing swimmer but that was not to be.  No matter how much your Dad tried to bribe you it just wasn’t your passion.  Luckily, after many failed attempts at baseball, soccer and even Frisbee golf to name just a few, we had the patience and persistence to keep going until you found basketball.

Who knew you’re going to turn out to be such a superstar? I’m starting this blog because when you’re a professional NBA basketball star and ESPN wants to do an interview with you, we’ll have all kinds of documentation about what your career was like when you were just starting out.

I guess you’ve been playing for a couple of years now, with the Warriors team run by Conrad and your middle school team at Chime Charter Institute basically run by you and your friends. Middle school obviously wasn’t a very competitive team (although you did very well during the regular seasons) I know the fun was just getting to play with all of your friends.

Up until now I haven’t been allowed to participate much in your basketball career. I made the mistake of cheering at one of your first games and was “banned for life.” Luckily that “life sentence” like so many in California didn’t turn out to be as long as we thought it would be. And even though I’m still not allowed to speak, I do enjoy going to games.

Watching you encourage your teammates and inspire them is inspiring to everyone around you.  It’s nice to hear from other parents how you affect their children when you play with them and help them grow and improve as well.  You are such a great leader on any team that you join, athletic or otherwise, because of your empathy and enormous sense of compassion.

I look forward to watching you grow as a player and as an individual.

For now and always, I Love You,