Bless Your Heart

Dear Son,

My darling teenager, you took it upon yourself to start doing your own laundry.  I can’t believe it?  Since you’ve only been given one practice uniform and they don’t have extras just yet I’m glad you understand that it needs to be washed every day. Since I forgot ONE time to wash your practice uniform, I’m suddenly the worst Mom in the world. Here’s the thing, you asked his Dad to teach you how to do laundry and anyone reading this knows what that means.

First step, if there’s something in the washing machine, take it out and put it in the dryer.

Second step, if there’s already something in the dryer, take that out and put anywhere convenient.  The top of the dryer, the floor, the laundry basket, whatever’s convenient.

Laundry Done.

Why is it that men don’t believe doing that laundry includes actually putting the clothes away.  Heck, I’d even settle for folding the laundry and putting it on top of the dryer. That’s the time consuming part.  The washing and drying take moments.  Throw in some clothes, add detergent, turn on the machine.  What does that take, 3 minutes? Transfer wet clothes to the dryer, add dryer sheet, another 30 seconds.  That’s nothing! Folding and putting things away is the real point to doing laundry and that can take half an hour.  Don’t get me wrong, a little help is better than nothing, but I wish you’d asked to learn how to do laundry from me so I could teach you how to do it right.

On the bright side, I’ve got four years until you leave for college to get it right.  Wish me luck!

For now and always, I Love You,

Mom

 

Teenager Speak

Dear Son,

This was a conversation I had with you the other day:

You: Mom, do you have some chapstick?

Me: Do you need it now or would you like one for school?

You (with complete indignation): It’s for me!

Does anyone understand how that answer is at all an appropriate response to my question?  Apparently I was supposed to understand that his answer meant he wanted to bring chapstick to school. I know that you’ve all experienced this same thing, but do any of you remember having this problem with your parents? I know they weren’t big fans of a lot of our music but that is not the same issue.

If anyone has the code to teenager speak, I’d love to have you chime in and reveal the secret to the rest of us.

For Now and Always, I Love You,

Mom